twists n turns of my life

this post is coming just out of the blue....may be just out of sheer frustation....can be followed up by more related or unrelated topics.......


when i decided to give premedical entrance tests i think it was more of a predestined venture rather than a well thought out .....one that is taken with future prospects in mind....quite obvious when both my parents are doctors......i mean ofcourse taking biology in 11th class was the foundation stone of my career laid down atleast 10 years in advance!!

so schooling was finished together with coaching for entrances which had become the norm rather than an exception .....so as it happened to many other average persons like me i did not get selected....it was like a blow to me cause it hadnt seemed so tough ....i had always thought "ofcourse i would get somewhere"......the biggest set back was not getting through delhi pmt.....it crushed me....literally....n i left all hope of ever getting selected .......now that i look bak it was a stupid decision....i could have got selected for manipal (later ofcourse i found out that i had got a respectable rank n with a little more push a seat would have been in reach)......alas that never happened ofcourse....
my next big mistake was not dropping a year....i should have.....it was a worth a try.....but at that time losing out on a year was not an option at all....i totally put my foot down that i wont study at all...not another year....no more frustation i had said.......

so the search for medical colleges with paid seats started.........
we zeroed down on a college in aurangabad......everything had been finalised, even the tickets had been bought.....i was even packing stuff.......but an emotional tide took over my entire family and as swiftly had the decison been made it was undone in a matter of minutes....the main issue that had cropped up was why send a teenaged girl so many kilometers away........(i can almost cry n laugh together at this thought today!!)

so again many rounds of discussions with family friends, colleagues, etc started..suggestions varied .......they included buying a flat in my name n setting up to rent so that there is atleast a fixed income.......(would have been wise now that i look back!!), getting me admitted into bds (cheaper n a shorter duartion course!!......another wise decision which i kicked out of the window almost immediately...by saying "huh.....daanton ke doctor bhi koi doctor hote hain??!!") n so on n so forth
then the idea shifted to bio technology.....i filled in forms, gave the test n interview n got selected but guess wot?the idea of his daughter getting a b.sc. degree was just too much for my dad......so after a huge showdown i bid goodbye to that idea.......

meanwhile a family friend who is also a doctor n had a son of my age(chunki) n another doctor couple who had a daughter(cheena) interested in getting into medical got hold of an advertisement for a medical college in mauritius....everything about it seemed good....fee structure was reasonable, course followed was similar to that in india, cultural background of the place was similar.........but there was a slight problem....i was a couple of months younger than the minimum required age.....nevertheless we applied n guess wot as usual i got through......my dad finalised evrything......n so me, cheena n chunki were to set out a month later for mauritius....imagine my shock when i saw the atlas n realised that mauritius was on the other side of the equator!!and that the closest place was madagascar..but somehow it seems we had overcome the fear of distance....mauritius afterall was farther than aurangbad you see.......

with my dad gone it was more of time with me n mom.....those were turbulant times....u know a teenaged girl n my mom trying to reign me in .....n so there were daily arguments n one such lead to me passing a statement in which i said that she better be happy coz i ws going to b a doc because of her, n short fused that my mom is like me, also fired back that i wasnt becoming one for her ......."ehsaan nahin kar rahi ho mmujh par!!" ......was one such statement..... n so i also said fine......cancelled the ticket
n so mauritius was closed chapter (or so i had tought)


next came up engineering courses...(i had a good rank in a cet for engg but i didnt go for counselling cause at that time my mom had rubbished the idea of me being an engg "jis gali jaana nahin wahan ka pata he kyon poochna she had said.....")
anyhow a nearby college with a reputed name had selectd me n i joined it on the stipulated date.....i thought my life was settled now.....i had school friends going to the same college....was nearby n to top it all my dad was happy that his daughter was atleast getting into a professional course

but ofcourse fate had something else in store.... a personal tiff n a big argument with my mom led me to decide that it was impossible to live with my mom anymore....so in a fit of rage i told her....m going to mauritius n so again packed my bags, got another ticket .......n left for mauritius on the night of 7th november 2001 ................(to be contd.....)

hall disaster!!

ok i am an avid movie buff..........i mean i can watch any and every movie that comes up.....in all the languages tht i can understand.........n i love it when i get to see them on the big screen ....ya in theatres .....n ofcourse it jst gets better if the theatre is good n comfortable n comes at an affordable price.........
after having repeatedly watching movies at waves noida for the past 2-3 years i finally dared to go beyond ........into untested waters..........
i tried the new PVR premiere at select city mall saket.........n was i in for a rude shock or what??i mean ofcourse the tiket price was exhorbitant (rs 210 to be exact for an e tiket)........but the price is not wht i am complaining about.......its wot i got in return...........dirty seats ....n when i say dirty i mean dirty....like literally....i could pick up flakes of God knows what from those seats (probably left over nachos or popcorn crumbs of the previous movies goer .......YUCK!!)n not to mention that it was just the first show of the day......i mean comeon for 200 rs the least i can accept is the bare minimum cleanliness......i felt like jst going n blasting the manager or supervisor or whomsoever concerned...wel i didnt want to spoil my day out (which i happened to get after ages) .............ofcourse my friend had other ideas n immediately caught the first person in sight who seemed appropriate to be approached ......n guess what?the lady jst came.......saw ....went n just 2mins before the start of the show sent a cleanliness guy with a huge brush kinda thing n he made few feeble attempts to brush of whatever dirt he could.....albeit all in vain........(the seats otherwise were comfortable in the sense that they gave enough leg space n were of the swinging/adjustable variety)

all in all it was a disaster......n to imagine this hall is placed in one of the most beautiful malls that i have seen till date in delhi.....n not to mention in one of the posh localites of delhi .....select city walk mall is too good no doubts....
most of the crowd visiting there belonged to the high society/hep/higher middle class......n to imagine for all those that stinky hall...!!

now to compare i would even say that the local sapna n paras fair better ....their seats might have weathered but they definitely dont boast of any dirt.....

on a scale of 1-10 i'll rate this hall as 2....yes 2........(did i mention tht in between i could hear the promotinal songs that were being played at the snack bar....while we had certain silent moments during the movie-so much for sound n all.........n ya btw the 3 vertical lines that gave company to us on the screen were at least consistent, they lasted all throughout)

well bye for nw
happy movie going (ofcourse not in this hall)

PS: nw i feel like rating other halls too.....

DELHI ON SALE!

No Delhi was not up for sale but I think each n every shop in each of the Delhi's markets had sale on…….I hadn't realized the implication that this sale would have on my shopping budget but in the end I bought stuff worth Rs. 7000 (approx 140$) for Rs. 4000 (approx 80$)………that's a saving what say??!!

The shopping had started on the pretext that both me and my sister were in dire need of a pair of jeans n even I couldn't believe what all I had bought at the end of the spree…….

………you see the problem with jeans n me is that the exact fit is very hard to find…..i had to go through hours of walking n shop visiting n atleast over fifty trials to actually land on one particular jeans that was the right fit, wasn't vulgar or didn't have a cheap look to it………since it was sale season I inquired about the price….guess what we were told…?there was NO discount on the jeans BUT if we shopped for rs 2000 (approx 40$) we would get another rs.2000 worth of shopping free….now this is a God's gift to any girl………I went ballistic………I mean do u know what that means? well I'll tell you what it finally boiled down to……. A pair of denim jeans with a touch of pink in it ………. A pair of denim capris………one white t shirt n a pink sleeveless top………I just cant explain the happiness I felt that day…..the whole day I was smiling ……..

Another pink top that i acquired isn't MY pink top.... its actually my sister's but I borrowed it from her for a certain outing ……its by Provogue………..when I first saw it I simply detested it……I mean pink!?n that too with a net lining along the collar…..it was on sale n I still didn't wanna buy it….but it was the first thing that my sister had actually demanded during the entire shopping spree…..so I just couldn't say no to her….. Then comes the best part …..the price…..well it was on sale…..the actual price was rs.700 (approx. 18$) but after the discount it came to…….your guess……!!!!hehehe…..it was cheap…..cheaper than I had thought ……n that was a branded t shirt mind you……….. Well it went on to buy another pair of jeans from Pantaloons and a matching white belt to go with it……(remember niru you always wanted me to have a belt!!) I even ended up buying a yo yo cause a friend who had accompanied us had absolutely given his heart away for it!! Imagine the situation was so desperate that we bought a rs. 150(approx.3$) worth yo yo which from somewhere else outside would have been dirt cheap(cant convert it anymore)……….but I finally bought it n u should have seen the smile ……….it was bigger than any that you could see on a girl's face if you bought her a diamond set!!.......:)

PS: after all this I had dreaded what my parents would do when we returned …..but except for a sly comment from my mom that it seemed that we had bought the entire market…….all was well n so I am writing this wearing the pink t n the jeans with a pink dash n the white belt to go………………

letter to the editor

THIS WAS A LETTER THAT I HAD SENT TO METRONOW A DAILY IN DELHI WITH REGARDS TO A PARTICULAR ARTICLE THAT HAD APPEARED IN THEIR PAPER....UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS NOT PUBLISHED..........



Dear Metro Now,
It is quite commendable that no act of negligence goes unnoticed by your reporters & that you bring it to all your readers( AIIMS doctors leave towel in lady's stomach- Friday,10.08.07).
On that note i would like to bring to light that only the doctor is not responsible inside the operation theatre.There are nurses and other assistants who are also present to make sure all materials (like swabs,towels,etc) are counted before the start & end of the operation.So its not just a one man show!
On the same note i would like to ask why doctors are portrayed so grimly??Why don't you do an article on how many lives are saved by the doctors each day?!
With the inhuman working conditions, time constraints, extreme work load, mounting pressure of consumer protection acts & legal proceedings and newspapers after their lives its a wonder medicine is still one of the most sought after professions!!

casualty contd.........................

4 night duties and 15days after when i look back at casualty posting it has been the most fulfilling posting.....it has been satisfying on the professional as well as on personal front......
professionaly it is needless to say that exposure to patients first hand is a different feeling all together........thinkin of all the possibilites for causes and racking ur brain for the management and sometimes not knowing what to do and so finally ending up referring the cases to seniors or to respective wards.......one thing i learnt most about was acute gastroenteritis or vomiting and diarrohea for the uninitiated........not only did we see the spectrum of the illness from the most mild cases to the really serious almost dead patients..we learnt something else....something very basic which may not be of much use later iin life but at that time we were proud of it........"to excel in the art of inserting cannulas for intravenous lines" (or drips for those not aware of this terminology)........in order to rehydrate these patients we excelled in inserting cannulas.....in any size n shape; of both the cannula n the patient.....here i must thank a particular senior resident from orthopaedics who took pains to teach me how to insert the i.v. cannula correctly........i must say he was a very down to earth person.......he saw all patients ......he did not differentiate them into paediatric cases or surgical or medical..........he did not feel lowly to start iv lines himself when other senior doctors told us that it was a nurse's job n not theirs.......he made almost all diagnoses correct n among all the chaos n mob of patients he took out time to teach a few things here n there.....n mind you in case someone did not know the answer he did not undermine or humiliate that person........he even stayed up most of the time on the night shifts (when all most all seniors went off to sleep by 1 or 2)......n to know that he did his post graduation from PGI just bowled me over.......cause he was so humble........no airs about himself.......i salute u sir n i wish there were more like u......

on the personal front i made new friends-pav ....bonded with my college mate yani........all this while we never had had so much of interaction especially with someone from the college of the hospital....but both me and yani bonded well with pav.........infact pav was the first one to mention that we were just like them(them here refers to those who have done their mbbs from india).........n that we were a lil different from other externees.........probably cause we took our work seriously or maybe the fact that we actually worked!!.......... anyhow wot pav said really touched me .....he said he felt like we were one of them......he is a very down to earth person n really helpful....people like him are rare to find......he also gave us advice on how to tackle interns who dont work or give u trouble........well the talk on this issue started coz dev just wouldnt work........he would keep sitting there not doing anything........waiting till someone really picked him out to do the work....giving stupied excuses like he didnt hav his specs......we did many suturings.but he....i can count ....maybe not more than 5 times........n cannulas that too ......maybe 10 .........whereas our counts were too high to be counted........

anyhow casualty ended and i felt that i learnt quite a few things......n now that i look back im very satisfied with the way it turned out n with the way i completed it..........hope my other postings turn out like this one too...........(amen!!)

Casualty

casualty posting was by far my best posting. itruly enjoyed it. i had heard a lot about it before i started....that how the shifts were hectic and the enormous workload which seemed overburdening.........
the day we were supposed to report we reached at around 8:30 am thinking that the shift changes at 9 am. all of us were huddled outside the CMO's office(cheif/casualty medical officer)
we waited (as if waiting was also part of our training schedule!!)their were students from the attached college also.needless to say we were far apart.i even overheard tehm enquiring about us.....who we were?where we came from....as we had breached there territory.........(i am sure we certainly didnt llok like aliens......!!)
when the CMO came we didnt realise.......we were soon called inside and asked to submit our rosters n then asked to go outside n wait.......after 10minutes or so the peon came out n handed us a pieceof paper.on it was our schedule.around 14-15 of us were divided into 3-4 batches....some got morning, some evening and some night.....and a lucky few got the day off too....those in the evening and night shifts grumbled as they left to return again......i was happy i got the morning shift and it was already 11am or so & the shift changed at 2....
anyhow i was grouped with one of my college mates- yani* & one from the college attached to the hospital - pav*.the fourth one we couldnt spot (dev*)
when all had settled down......we also got down to our business.......but what was our business?now keeping in mind that we were one posting old.......(dermat)-where only our seniors worked & we just observed or waited or did miniscule jobs like giving injections or takin biopsies.......but here we waited for some instructions or things of that sort.....but nothing like that happened..........this went on for about 5minutes till the Medical officer in charge(M.O.) told us that we were "no longer interns but that we were doctors........& that we were to treat patients...on our own!!
with puzzled looks on our faces we turned towards the centre of the room where 2-3 tables were joined together and "doctors" were seated. we looked at Pav.......he was already seeing some patients........so me n devi also sat down n began our task...........

(.....to be continued......)
*names have been changed

can it get any better?

sometimes, some days you get a feeling that things couldnt have turned out any better....its one of those days when u feel like questioning the very existence of things........... beings in this world......
when things go wrong ......(yes one at a time doesnt work for me).......they just go horribly wrong.....
today was my first day of PSM/rural posting.......i was actually on time .......everything was perfect except for my luck i guess.........
just merely 100 metres before my hospital a maruti 800 driver decided to apply the brakes all of a sudden....the toyota corolla in front of me applied brakes n saved himself n had to time to manoeuvre himself out of the potential mess........i applied braked too n saved myself from ramming into the toyota(THANK GOD for theSEAT BELT that i am SAFE!!).........but i wasnt that fortunate......the zen behind me was either slow in applying brakes or had old brakes or did not notice me braking .....and after a scrreeeeeeeeeech and a thuuud...........n jolt forward i got down to inpsect the damage........the left side of my car's bumper had got twisted n the protector from inside(a rod of steel) was jutting out.........
the zen behind me had damage from front n behind as another maruti 800 rammed into it.......the other guy had damaged headlights.........
after few minutes of dilly dallying.....we all set out to our destiantions knowing fully well that arguign or fighting wasnt an option especially when the supposed real culprits had already fled.....as we were about to disperse to my delight i realised that the mud flap was stuck between the bumper n the rear tyre........as i was trying to free it out the other guy behind the zen helped me.....n got it freed........ (i thank him a lot)
anyhow i set out with shaking hands n wobbly legs but reached hospital safe and sound............
since i had to take relieving from the previous posting we had to get it signed by a particular doctor..........well i guess all had not ended yet.......we were to go to the OPD building.....n had to travel by lift to reach the 3rd floor.......it was a crowded one........n after getting the sign and on my way down i decided to give a call to another friend of mine to enquire about the next posting and i m sure no one needs to be a sherlock holmes to guess what had happened..........yes my cell phone had been very neatly taken out of my pocket n very conveniently switched off..........i couldnt believe my luck............
ofcourse to trace back my cell and to expect to get it back is foolish on my part but what can i say my hope is not ready to die yet.......after all it was a nokia 6680.....bought when it was new in the market( i guess no need to mention how much it had cost then)........forget about the cost ......all those phone numbers, lovingly saved messages, carefully set ringtones .......those memorable photos.........all gone......with the mobile hanger which was a very special gift.........
most of my friends told me that i should be happy that something bigger or worse had been warded off or avoided......i seriously wonder what........


PS:the car needs to be assessed by the insurance people( rough estimate ranges from 1500-5500), repair will take a day so the car may end being at the service station for a day or two.....i have blocked the sim card ....contacted police people posted at casualty in my hospital and submitted an application to avoid misuse of my phone number, given the imei no. (no FIR though)......and i am waiting

happy doctor's day!!

well HAPPY DOCTOR'S DAY everyone..........i had to write much more and on many more topics but this day came, so this punctuation (and not a full stop) in the order of blogs (which are ofcourse delayed)............
i really dont know what to write about....lets see .....how about the pitiful condition in which doctors are made to work.......three days of night shifts/24 hours duty in a week was enough to drive me crazy.......the ones who really work are lowest in the order of hierarchy........i saw in these days the conditions in which we work....with least resources n worst environment........in places in the hospital where i work to get a fan is also considered good.......one whole night( almost.......)i spent without sleep coz the fan wouldnt throw any air........one room n 6beds crammed.....n patients lying on each....(the room ofcourse was smaller than required to accomodate the patients n the doctors n the nurses n other staff members.........plus the cupboards n wash basin etc)
the basic medicines are lacking.......i am ashamed to disclose that we had on several occasions fooled patients and asked them to get a certain medicine for other needy patients cause they were not available......by saying that this was for their child,brother, sister etc.....what could we do.......if something like phenobarbitone was not present........we were using sterilised disposables punches for biopsies, brought by some previous patients ...over n over again........coz the hospital would not provide n most of the patients could not afford........
i think doctors have the craziest shifts..........24hours in many postings barring a few like casualty n labour room etc.......the nurses have 8 hourly shifts ,,,,,the orderlies have 12 hourly shifts.........
n who does most of the work?well the more junior you are the more work u'll do....take me for instance.........in a posting recently......i was a receptionist, an orderly, a clerk.......a worker ant to be precise..........i ran to the hematology lab to get the vials....i visited the pathology lab for reports.....i was sent to the CT scan and ultrasound room to get dates for patients......and guess what?..........i am the unpaid intern......

(its getting a little depressing so ill end now.......may or may not continue.......)